Navigating Betrayal and Flying Monkeys

1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:14,872
Foreign hello

2
00:00:14,936 --> 00:00:18,568
friends and welcome. Midlife crisis, also known as

3
00:00:18,624 --> 00:00:22,536
mlc, is often dismissed as a cliche, but the reality

4
00:00:22,568 --> 00:00:26,488
is far more serious. During this period, individuals experience a profound

5
00:00:26,584 --> 00:00:30,814
psychological and emotional upheaval leading to impulsive and self destructive

6
00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:33,886
decisions that they later regret. Despite the clear

7
00:00:33,958 --> 00:00:37,406
signs of instability, MLCers are currently allowed to file for divorce

8
00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:40,942
and make irreversible financial and legal choices, often to the

9
00:00:40,966 --> 00:00:44,638
devastation of their long term spouses and families. Thank you for

10
00:00:44,694 --> 00:00:48,286
joining us today because now you are going to hear people from around the world

11
00:00:48,358 --> 00:00:52,254
as they tell their story in their own words about their bomb

12
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,980
drops and beyond you.

13
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:04,440
The stories and events discussed in this podcast are based

14
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:08,056
on our guest experiences and are intended for informational and

15
00:01:08,128 --> 00:01:11,608
entertainment purposes only. They should not be considered legal,

16
00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:16,136
medical or professional advice. Any names, locations or identifying

17
00:01:16,168 --> 00:01:20,230
details have been changed to protect privacy. Any similarities to

18
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:24,346
actual persons, living or dead, or real events are purely coincidental.

19
00:01:24,458 --> 00:01:28,314
The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily

20
00:01:28,362 --> 00:01:31,082
reflect those of the host or the podcast creators.

21
00:01:31,226 --> 00:01:34,890
Listeners should consult with a qualified professional regarding their

22
00:01:34,930 --> 00:01:36,270
own circumstances.

23
00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:53,076
Hello everybody. Thanks for joining us today. This is your host, Trina Laird.

24
00:01:53,188 --> 00:01:56,680
Today we are going to talk about flying monkeys and betrayal.

25
00:01:57,580 --> 00:02:01,220
So first we'll go on with the flying monkeys that might

26
00:02:01,260 --> 00:02:04,708
remind you a little bit of the wizard of Oz. Well, no surprise,

27
00:02:04,804 --> 00:02:08,436
it's now used in psychology to describe enablers

28
00:02:08,468 --> 00:02:12,356
or enforcers of a narcissist or an unstable person's

29
00:02:12,388 --> 00:02:16,130
agenda. These. And these people that are referred to as

30
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:20,274
flying monkeys, they, they are,

31
00:02:20,362 --> 00:02:24,066
they're. They often become pawns like knowingly or unknowingly

32
00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:27,522
in a campaign to isolate, discredit and punish the target,

33
00:02:27,626 --> 00:02:31,710
which is often a colleague, a spouse, a partner, close friend.

34
00:02:37,930 --> 00:02:41,674
But how do flying monkeys form? Why do people so easily

35
00:02:41,722 --> 00:02:44,870
believe the rewritten version of history that they're fed?

36
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:48,586
Well, we shall explore how people in midlife

37
00:02:48,618 --> 00:02:52,266
crisis or those with narcissistic tendencies rewrite

38
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:55,434
their past to justify abandoning responsibilities,

39
00:02:55,562 --> 00:02:58,746
families or long term partners. As they unravel,

40
00:02:58,858 --> 00:03:02,666
they often cast themselves as the victim and enlist others,

41
00:03:02,818 --> 00:03:06,666
friends, family members, even therapists or legal professionals to validate

42
00:03:06,698 --> 00:03:10,112
their altered nature narrative. These flyers then go

43
00:03:10,136 --> 00:03:14,000
around spreading misinformation, protecting the unstable

44
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,568
or the narcissistic individual, which actually causes further

45
00:03:17,624 --> 00:03:21,616
harm to the true victim. Topics that we shall cover

46
00:03:21,688 --> 00:03:25,248
today, the psychology of cognitive dissonance and why people

47
00:03:25,304 --> 00:03:28,672
align with the narcissist. What flying monkeys get

48
00:03:28,696 --> 00:03:31,408
out of it. Validation, Control,

49
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,340
Drama, or simply a sense of loyalty.

50
00:03:35,490 --> 00:03:39,594
You know, and we'll talk about the danger of false narratives during divorce or separation.

51
00:03:39,722 --> 00:03:42,954
We're going to talk about how to identify when someone is being used as

52
00:03:42,962 --> 00:03:47,690
a flying monkey and why midlife crisis trigger

53
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:51,754
a sudden rewriting of history and the emotional toll

54
00:03:51,802 --> 00:03:55,230
on the person being targeted, which is often the spouse or the partner.

55
00:03:56,450 --> 00:04:00,410
This episode is about truth, accountability, and reclaiming your voice when

56
00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:03,910
someone else is shouting their false version of your story.

57
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:10,364
So the psychology of cognitive dissonance

58
00:04:10,412 --> 00:04:13,900
and why people align with the narcissist or MLC

59
00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:17,692
individual. Cognitive dissonance is the psychological

60
00:04:17,756 --> 00:04:21,564
discomfort that we feel when we hold two conflicting beliefs.

61
00:04:21,692 --> 00:04:24,200
When someone witnesses a person they care about,

62
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:27,760
such as the narcissist or the MLC individual.

63
00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:31,770
So when a person. When someone witnesses a person they care about like

64
00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:35,786
that, acting in ways that seem harmful or contradictory, they often resolve

65
00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:38,602
the discomfort by altering their perception of reality,

66
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:41,930
Choosing to believe the narcissist narrative rather than face

67
00:04:41,970 --> 00:04:46,346
uncomfortable truths. Flying monkeys may justify their allegiance by convincing

68
00:04:46,378 --> 00:04:49,914
themselves that the targeted spouse must have done something

69
00:04:50,002 --> 00:04:54,010
wrong, must have done something to deserve this. You know,

70
00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:57,642
it's easier to believe the new story than to accept that their friend or

71
00:04:57,666 --> 00:05:00,602
family member is behaving cruelly or irrationally.

72
00:05:00,746 --> 00:05:04,750
Because, frankly, when it's an mlc, nothing makes sense.

73
00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:09,882
Rational goes totally out the window. Everything's irrational.

74
00:05:10,026 --> 00:05:13,190
What's down is up. What's up was down.

75
00:05:13,650 --> 00:05:16,810
What was up is down. What was down is

76
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,910
up. So you get the picture.

77
00:05:20,290 --> 00:05:24,522
What do flying monkeys get out of it? Flying monkeys aren't always manipulated

78
00:05:24,586 --> 00:05:28,286
against their will. Some gain emotional rewards from their involvement,

79
00:05:28,398 --> 00:05:31,970
such as validation or approval from the narcissist,

80
00:05:32,310 --> 00:05:36,110
a sense of superiority or righteousness in taking sides.

81
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:40,446
They get the thrill of gossip and drama. There's avoidance

82
00:05:40,478 --> 00:05:44,286
of conflict by siding with the dominant personality.

83
00:05:44,398 --> 00:05:47,758
Some don't even realize that they're being used. Others may know,

84
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,916
but, you know, they just. It's easier to just go along with it because they

85
00:05:51,038 --> 00:05:53,900
benefit socially, financially, or emotionally.

86
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:58,340
And please note, a lot of times we'll say narcissist because

87
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,248
somebody in midlife crisis may not.

88
00:06:02,304 --> 00:06:05,500
They're often not a narcissist,

89
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:10,392
but they often have little tendencies

90
00:06:10,456 --> 00:06:14,860
and traits of narcissism

91
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,846
during the crisis. And that's very, very, very,

92
00:06:18,918 --> 00:06:23,326
very common. So that's why we often do that

93
00:06:23,478 --> 00:06:27,310
or refer to it that way. So the danger of

94
00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:30,654
false narratives during divorce or separation. A narcissist

95
00:06:30,702 --> 00:06:34,462
or someone in a midlife crisis often rewrites the story of the marriage to

96
00:06:34,486 --> 00:06:37,678
make themselves the victim and justify abandonment,

97
00:06:37,774 --> 00:06:41,630
infidelity or cruelty, false Narratives during a

98
00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:44,792
divorce can influence custody decisions.

99
00:06:44,966 --> 00:06:47,600
It can sway mutual friends and family.

100
00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:51,160
False narratives can even destroy reputations.

101
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:56,132
False narratives also increase isolation and trauma for

102
00:06:56,156 --> 00:07:00,084
the targeted spouse. This narrative shift is especially dangerous

103
00:07:00,132 --> 00:07:03,268
when dangerous when combined with legal proceedings

104
00:07:03,364 --> 00:07:07,044
where truth can be blurred by persuasive storytelling

105
00:07:07,172 --> 00:07:10,788
and image management. Or like in my field

106
00:07:10,924 --> 00:07:14,052
as a marketer, as branding.

107
00:07:14,196 --> 00:07:17,800
So, you know, branding is always pretty important.

108
00:07:18,260 --> 00:07:22,380
All right, how to identify when someone is being used as a flying monkey.

109
00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:26,412
Look for people who repeat the MLC's words

110
00:07:26,476 --> 00:07:30,172
verbatim. They suddenly cut off that targeted

111
00:07:30,236 --> 00:07:33,900
spouse or partner or colleague or friend without

112
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:37,916
any cause. They may attack or gaslight

113
00:07:37,948 --> 00:07:41,800
the victim under the guise of quote, unquote concern.

114
00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:46,026
They start spreading privately false

115
00:07:46,058 --> 00:07:49,562
information to others. They may claim neutrality,

116
00:07:49,706 --> 00:07:53,642
but always seem to favor the narcissist version of events,

117
00:07:53,786 --> 00:07:57,162
I'm sure because it could be more dramatic. And you know,

118
00:07:57,186 --> 00:08:00,954
we all love drama, so recognizing flying monkeys

119
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:04,874
is vital for protecting your mental health. Not all of them are malicious,

120
00:08:04,922 --> 00:08:06,910
but many are complicit.

121
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:13,284
And you know, there's probably nothing you

122
00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:16,120
can do about them except just ignore.

123
00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:20,564
And why? Midlife crises trigger a rewriting of history.

124
00:08:20,732 --> 00:08:24,660
It's often fueled by internal panic, fear of aging,

125
00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:28,340
regret, loss of identity, unfulfilled dreams.

126
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:32,164
And to escape that discomfort, people may project

127
00:08:32,252 --> 00:08:35,350
that dissatisfaction onto their spouse or family.

128
00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:37,670
They often reinvent themselves.

129
00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:42,258
And they reinvent the past to match the new narrative.

130
00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:45,346
That's totally normal. They don't even realize they're doing it.

131
00:08:45,498 --> 00:08:49,426
So please, when you hear that there's

132
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:52,750
a rewritten history of your past, don't worry about it.

133
00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:56,430
It's fiction, just like. And don't worry about it.

134
00:08:57,930 --> 00:09:01,362
The MLC doesn't even know that they are doing that. Again,

135
00:09:01,466 --> 00:09:03,670
it's just. They're not themselves.

136
00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:08,602
The. The rewriting of history

137
00:09:08,786 --> 00:09:12,490
is also designed to blame others

138
00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:15,962
instead of facing their own choices. It also helps them

139
00:09:15,986 --> 00:09:19,770
seek external validation for affairs, new friends,

140
00:09:19,890 --> 00:09:23,530
new lifestyle. And to protect the shaky new identity, they must

141
00:09:23,570 --> 00:09:27,210
convince themselves and they must convince others that their old

142
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:30,452
life was. It was flawed. Um, it could even have

143
00:09:30,476 --> 00:09:33,620
been abusive to them. And this is when the

144
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,720
rewriting of history begins.

145
00:09:37,340 --> 00:09:41,348
But what about that emotional toll on the targeted partner?

146
00:09:41,524 --> 00:09:45,172
Being discarded and then being misrepresented can be

147
00:09:45,196 --> 00:09:49,040
one of the most emotionally devastating experiences one can ever face.

148
00:09:49,660 --> 00:09:53,300
They. They face isolation, confusion,

149
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:57,086
identity crisis, just like the mlc. ER. They may

150
00:09:57,158 --> 00:10:00,654
experience damage to their social and professional reputation.

151
00:10:00,782 --> 00:10:03,570
They may start having PTSD symptoms.

152
00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:07,694
They could develop a longing for truth, justice, or acknowledgement.

153
00:10:07,742 --> 00:10:11,406
They not only lose a partner. But they lose the shared history,

154
00:10:11,558 --> 00:10:14,930
the support system, and often their sense of reality.

155
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:22,494
All right, so how do we deal with the flying monkeys,

156
00:10:22,542 --> 00:10:25,498
you guys? What do you want to do about that?

157
00:10:25,654 --> 00:10:29,042
Well, first, you know what? Just disengage. Do not try to

158
00:10:29,066 --> 00:10:32,242
defend yourself to them. Flying monkeys often are not

159
00:10:32,266 --> 00:10:35,890
even interested in the truth. They're loyal to the narcissist or the person

160
00:10:35,930 --> 00:10:39,266
in crisis, and not to fairness. They're just trying.

161
00:10:39,338 --> 00:10:42,546
You're trying to defend yourself can reignite drama.

162
00:10:42,658 --> 00:10:46,194
We don't want to do that. It can give them more material to twist,

163
00:10:46,322 --> 00:10:47,790
and it can drain your energy.

164
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,746
A response you could say is, you know what? I'm not going to defend myself

165
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,946
against lies. You can believe what you want because really,

166
00:10:57,018 --> 00:10:59,130
you. Who cares in the end?

167
00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:04,302
Two, you can identify who's worth saving. Not everyone is

168
00:11:04,326 --> 00:11:08,222
a lost cause. Some flying monkeys are confused or misinformed. So look for

169
00:11:08,246 --> 00:11:12,382
people who might show signs of hesitation. Maybe the

170
00:11:12,486 --> 00:11:15,570
friends who ask questions instead of making accusations.

171
00:11:15,910 --> 00:11:19,550
And look for folks that have a history of being fair. And approach those

172
00:11:19,590 --> 00:11:22,926
people gently and with calm, factual communication. If they're

173
00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:26,160
unwilling to hear you out, let them go. And protect your peace.

174
00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:30,076
You can strengthen your own circle. You can't control the flying monkeys,

175
00:11:30,108 --> 00:11:33,996
but you can build or rebuild your own support system. So surround

176
00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:37,836
yourself with people who believe in you, people who value

177
00:11:37,908 --> 00:11:41,612
integrity, and people who really aren't tied to the narcissist or

178
00:11:41,636 --> 00:11:44,844
the toxic person. A therapist, a coach,

179
00:11:44,932 --> 00:11:48,524
even online support groups can help you. They can help ground yourself

180
00:11:48,572 --> 00:11:50,800
in the truth when you feel isolated.

181
00:11:52,950 --> 00:11:56,158
And if flying monkeys are actively interfering with your life,

182
00:11:56,294 --> 00:12:00,110
such as harassment, defamation, false accusations.

183
00:12:00,270 --> 00:12:02,974
Document it. Document everything. Screenshots,

184
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:06,926
emails, texts. Block them where needed. Speak to a lawyer if it's

185
00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:10,494
affecting your reputation or your custody case or your career.

186
00:12:10,622 --> 00:12:14,286
Legal protection like cease and desist letters can be a totally

187
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:18,184
powerful tool if necessary. And don't internalize

188
00:12:18,232 --> 00:12:21,416
their version of you. This is the real danger. Flying monkeys

189
00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:24,920
are echo chambers for the narc's fake story. Over time,

190
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:29,096
it can gaslight you into questioning your own reality. So stay anchored.

191
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:32,952
Stay anchored in what you know to be true. Stay anchored

192
00:12:33,016 --> 00:12:36,456
in your values, in your character.

193
00:12:36,648 --> 00:12:40,120
You know you have the evidence of what really happened.

194
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,512
Journaling, therapy, or even creating a timeline of

195
00:12:43,536 --> 00:12:47,292
events can help you validate your experience and

196
00:12:47,316 --> 00:12:50,012
let time and consistency be your proof.

197
00:12:50,156 --> 00:12:53,580
Narcissists, MLC ers, unstable people.

198
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:57,500
You know what? Eventually they show their true colors. Over time,

199
00:12:57,540 --> 00:13:01,212
even some flying monkeys will wake up. You don't need to prove your innocence.

200
00:13:01,276 --> 00:13:04,700
You Just need to live it. Truth does not need

201
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,960
a defense. Consistency.

202
00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:11,772
So now, guys, we've got. We talked a little about the flying monkeys.

203
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,770
Now we're going to go into betrayal.

204
00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:20,638
All right, so betrayal.

205
00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:23,326
Betrayal, Betrayal.

206
00:13:23,518 --> 00:13:25,690
Betrayal changes everything.

207
00:13:26,950 --> 00:13:30,910
So you'll learn today about a little bit about the

208
00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:34,974
psychology and neuroscience of betrayal and why it devastates

209
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:38,650
us, how it hijacks our brain and our nervous system.

210
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:43,224
You'll learn about betrayal, trauma, the emotional and biological response

211
00:13:43,272 --> 00:13:47,176
that leaves so many of us feeling shattered, confused, and unsafe

212
00:13:47,208 --> 00:13:48,460
in our own skin.

213
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,700
And why do. Why do people betray?

214
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:01,384
Well, they say sometimes unresolved childhood wounds,

215
00:14:01,512 --> 00:14:05,898
it could be narcissism. It could be the chaos of a midlife identity

216
00:14:06,064 --> 00:14:09,450
crisis. It could be just a variety of reasons.

217
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:12,806
And whether you've been betrayed by a partner, a friend,

218
00:14:12,878 --> 00:14:16,342
or family member, this episode is going to help you understand that what

219
00:14:16,366 --> 00:14:20,118
happened to you was not your fault. And that healing begins

220
00:14:20,134 --> 00:14:23,638
with reclaiming your truth. You are not broken.

221
00:14:23,734 --> 00:14:25,530
You are rebuilding.

222
00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:32,926
So what happens in the brain and body when trust is shattered?

223
00:14:33,078 --> 00:14:36,094
Let's unpack a little bit. Betrayal and why it so

224
00:14:36,102 --> 00:14:39,406
often comes from the people we love the most. And how to begin healing

225
00:14:39,518 --> 00:14:40,810
when your world,

226
00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:47,294
when your world's been turned upside down.

227
00:14:47,462 --> 00:14:50,130
This is the science of betrayal.

228
00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:55,486
Betrayal doesn't just break your heart, it breaks your brain.

229
00:14:55,518 --> 00:14:59,078
And I mean that literally. It's not just pain, it's trauma.

230
00:14:59,214 --> 00:15:02,742
And science actually has a name for it. It's called

231
00:15:02,926 --> 00:15:06,582
drumroll. Betrayal, trauma. It was first studied by a

232
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:10,582
psychologist named Jennifer Fraid, who discovered something powerful.

233
00:15:10,726 --> 00:15:14,486
The closer the betrayer is to you, the deeper

234
00:15:14,518 --> 00:15:16,810
the wound, which makes a lot of sense.

235
00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:21,558
When someone you love and someone that you trust, someone your

236
00:15:21,614 --> 00:15:25,030
survival once depended on, when that person turns on

237
00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:30,126
you, it's not just a violation, it's a psychological earthquake.

238
00:15:30,318 --> 00:15:34,286
Your brain, especially your amygdala, the part

239
00:15:34,438 --> 00:15:37,838
right here that senses danger, that part goes into

240
00:15:37,894 --> 00:15:41,550
overdrive. It's fight, flight, freeze. Fight, flight, freeze.

241
00:15:41,630 --> 00:15:44,862
It doesn't know if this is emotional pain or a predator in

242
00:15:44,886 --> 00:15:48,446
the wild. Cortisol floods your body, your nervous

243
00:15:48,478 --> 00:15:52,894
system gets hijacked, and your ability to think clearly totally

244
00:15:52,942 --> 00:15:54,420
shuts down.

245
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,208
Sometimes you'll even forget things, dissociate,

246
00:16:01,304 --> 00:16:05,352
or question your own memories. That's not weakness. That's your mind trying

247
00:16:05,376 --> 00:16:09,752
to protect you from what it can't yet process. That is how

248
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:13,432
it's just completely so traumatic in your head.

249
00:16:13,616 --> 00:16:16,904
And just know if you're going through, if you've got a spouse or partner

250
00:16:16,952 --> 00:16:20,472
in mlc, it's. It's very similar for them, too. They're going

251
00:16:20,496 --> 00:16:23,720
through a total, total fogginess in their head.

252
00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:27,276
And you're going through a total fogginess in your head with the betrayal

253
00:16:27,308 --> 00:16:31,676
issue. But the bigger question is this. Why do people betray

254
00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:34,860
the ones they say they love? Why does it so often come from the person

255
00:16:34,900 --> 00:16:38,332
you trusted the most? Well, some betray

256
00:16:38,396 --> 00:16:41,820
because they're wounded, emotionally immature, afraid of

257
00:16:41,860 --> 00:16:45,692
intimacy, terrified of being seen. They sabotage

258
00:16:45,756 --> 00:16:49,232
love before it gets too real. Others carry childhood scars

259
00:16:49,296 --> 00:16:52,736
that were never healed. And instead of confronting the pain, they dump

260
00:16:52,768 --> 00:16:55,936
it on you. They don't mean to. It's just. It's.

261
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:59,984
It is what it is. This is. You know, some betray

262
00:17:00,032 --> 00:17:04,208
out of narcissism. Some see people as objects,

263
00:17:04,304 --> 00:17:08,032
not really humans with hearts. And then there are those that are caught in midlife

264
00:17:08,096 --> 00:17:11,616
crisis, of course, trying to outrun the mirror, running from aging,

265
00:17:11,728 --> 00:17:15,562
running from responsibility and mortality. And you just happen to be

266
00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:19,070
standing there when they cracked. It's not your fault.

267
00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:23,690
And betrayal, really, it's not your fault. It's never

268
00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:25,590
about how lovable you were.

269
00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:30,490
It's really about how limited they were. When someone

270
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:34,362
betrays you, they don't just walk away from the relationship. They walk

271
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,790
away from truth, from loyalty, from integrity.

272
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:41,970
And that's not love. That's cowardice in disguise.

273
00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:45,874
So if you've been betrayed and you're still standing, you are already

274
00:17:45,962 --> 00:17:49,682
stronger than the one who did it. You're not broken. You're just in the

275
00:17:49,706 --> 00:17:53,698
process of rebuilding something. Betrayal tried and

276
00:17:53,754 --> 00:17:57,190
tried to take from you your trust in yourself.

277
00:17:59,450 --> 00:18:02,722
If betrayal has touched your life, I want you to know this.

278
00:18:02,826 --> 00:18:06,328
You are not weak for being hurt. You are not foolish for.

279
00:18:06,354 --> 00:18:09,788
For having trusted. And you are absolutely not

280
00:18:09,844 --> 00:18:13,772
alone. You didn't lose everything, but you

281
00:18:13,796 --> 00:18:17,036
did lose some stuff. And you know what you lost? You lost

282
00:18:17,108 --> 00:18:21,440
what was false. You lost what was performative.

283
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,244
You lost what couldn't carry the weight of love.

284
00:18:25,412 --> 00:18:29,772
And now you are finally free to rebuild honestly,

285
00:18:29,916 --> 00:18:32,760
fiercely, and on your terms.

286
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,528
So don't look at it as a loss.

287
00:18:36,664 --> 00:18:40,464
Think of what you've gained, and you are going to gain plenty. Thank you for

288
00:18:40,472 --> 00:18:43,824
listening. If this episode spoke to something inside you

289
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:47,360
with the flying monkeys or the betrayal, please share it with someone

290
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,272
who needs to hear it. There's a lot of folks out there that need to

291
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:53,328
know they are not alone. And if you haven't already,

292
00:18:53,464 --> 00:18:57,360
please subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And just

293
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,760
remember, you are not just surviving betrayal. You're rising

294
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:04,408
from it. So stay cool out there. Stay awesome. And I'll

295
00:19:04,424 --> 00:19:07,800
see you guys at the next podcast. Thanks so much for listening to

296
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,880
mlc Bomb Drop and Beyond.